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Lets play a game of, pretence.

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    Sunday, September 27, 2009

    Everything's gone. Everything. @ 11:49 PM


    猜不透
    相處會比分開還寂寞
    兩個人都只是得過且過
    無法感受每次觸摸 是真的 是熱的
    如果忽遠忽近的灑脫
    是你要的自由
    那我寧願回到一個人生活
    如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔
    是你的藉口
    那我寧願對你從沒認真過
    到底這感覺誰對誰錯
    我已不想追究
    越是在乎的人越是猜不透
    -

    Drea introduced this song to Fel. Hearing it so many times, addicted to it already. Its really nice. Should go hear it. (: I've felt like this before seriously. The feeling's really not good. I dont know if im lying to myself. But nevermind, time to face the facts. He doesnt want me back anymore. So i'll just stop running away from reality. Just have to put down the stress im giving him & let him live on with his life without me and just watch from behind. I'll be fine i guess. At least thats how i should be now. Nobody ever understand how im feeling inside anyways. Struggling like shit. But since the truth's out. Totally speechless. You'll think we wouldnt have to hurt each other. I would just keep check out on you and finding out things that i dont like to hear or see. I know you feel the same too. So if this is what you say about better. Then i really have nothing to say. I'll just be shouting my lungs out, crying my heart out. I look happier and have more things to do. But truth is that everything i do, everything i see. Just reminds me of you. I want to care about you, i want to tell you things. But im no longer that someone closest to you nor have the right to control or tell you what i dont like. Everything's so screwed in my life now i dont know how to clean up the mess. I tried everything that i could but it just doesnt help at all. Do i really want to be just friends? Will everything be better like you said? Im just wondering about all the outcomes that i could end up with. No good. We both seem happy but i know its all just a cover up. But there's nothing we can do. Trust my love for you wouldnt fade or be gone just yet even if you're not with me anymore. But things are just hard to say, i just dont believe in Love. I dont believe in anything anymore. Dont even believe in myself. Everything in my life's fake. Should i just look forward to the future and just stop looking back like you said to me? Am i able to do that? Would it even make a difference. Night time's just so torturing & hard to get over.

    Been trying things out to distract myself & before starting to study again. I hate more tuitions, >:(

    - Meet Vicky Sister > Walk around bugis > Eat & meet Katkat > Sky Lan > Home
    - Meet Caihong & Ratboy @ Chalet > Eat > Others came > Beach & Fireworks > Slack > Home
    - Meet Vicky Sister > Wedding Lunch > Others came > Slack > Eat > Movie > Cycle > Home

    Just trying to keep the smile up on my face. But its totally not what it seems. Kept thinking about things that i would cry out of a sudden at the weirdest timing that didnt linked. Dont know what i was thinking either. Nothing in my life is going out well. Even when it comes to friends. Its just so hard to live on life like that. Lets say i had my fair share of fun. Its really time to study. (:
    -

    Even if the sky's falling down .
    i'll be here ,


    I have a feeling someone's going to get unhappy for what i did in the weekends but im just trying to distract myself. ): Im sorry lovelove. Double hard work on studies, exams & tutions. Promise. (:
    -

    All the photos & others will be posted on the next post / maybe just on my wordpress okays. Heh.



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