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    Tuesday, September 22, 2009

    I just feel like dying right now. @ 12:10 AM
    Im thinking for a whole day about what to post now.
    Guess there's nothing much to talk about anyways.
    What is there that's worth posting and be happy about.
    I really dont know. Just hope everything will be fine.
    But obviously i know its not. And it wont be the same.
    Everything's going to change after yesterday night.
    I promised you something i cannot do, im sorry.
    Its not as easy as it seemed to me from the starting.
    Know you want the best for me, and i would too.
    But eventhough i know i can, i still dont wanna let go.
    The stress, the sadness, the memories. Everything.
    Im smoking again. I know i shouldnt be, i just help it k.
    Just dont wanna be without you Boy. But who cares.
    -

    Friends oh friends. Only people that can help me now.
    Gonna make myself happy. Gonna pamper myself !
    To be back that happy Kailin that have been neglected.
    Everything's going to change! Im living back my life.
    Thanks Shawn, Vicky, Johneh, Jolyn for caring alright.
    Especially Shawn & Johneh for cheering me up lahhs.
    Just need to keep myself busy, stop me from thinking.
    Stupid hoping that ass still remembers about Friday!
    If not im sure going to slaughter him like a pig lors.
    Im so going to lose myself and have fun like fuck now.
    Dont try to stop be from doing anything that i want.
    I'll go bonkers i tell you! ): My cheeks damn pain now.
    Want it to be like the same like you said it would be!
    How can it be like this you tell me, tell me friend?!
    If friends, equals not replying sms too then so be it k!
    Im so going to break down really soon. IM SINGLE!

    I have nothing to say anymore. I just hope you're happy.
    Happy with that decision that you made. Really hope.
    Nothing could turn you back, then so be it. I dont care alr.
    It seemed so easy for me to think to let it and you all go.
    But now its just so difficult. The memories are all still there.
    Its something that you cannot delete away or dont think.
    Wished you'd bang my head so hard i lost my memory.
    But it didnt. Just left bruises all over that made it harder.
    I had happy memories with you, but there was more bad's.
    You think i can be happier like that, but i cant. I tell you.
    All the hardwork and giving in is all going down drain now.
    How happy can i get? Stop thinking that i will alright. Hais.
    Its not that i dont want to. I really do want. But cannot.

    TY Girlfriend :) , SISTERS & BROS !

    I dont know if i can trust what you say anymore k.
    Its breaking my heart when i've tried so hard to ;
    & What happens? You give me this kind of shit?     Zxc.
    Is this the reason why this happens? Tell me la.
    Seriously fuck you. I hate you more than anything.
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