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    Friday, October 2, 2009

    I'd rather sleep forever than stay awake. @ 3:44 PM


    Have been thinking so damn much. Dont know what should i do or not to do. Smoking seems to be the only way out for now. Really dont understand how things could end up like that. Seven months like nothing happened before. How deep was the love. Or was it just for some other purpose? Why! Is this all a joke? Im asking myself. Im smoking like nobody business now, its the only way that can help me fall asleep. Honestly. I dont want to treat myself like this. Prove that i can be just as happy without you by my side, in my life. But i'll just be lying to myself. Running away from reality. Since she's so much better than me judging by looks, character & also more matured you always want me to be, should be happy for you. Hope she's really the one you love.

    Thanks to all the cheered me up through the tough night. Duckie, Brother, Farhan & Others. I've been thinking about who was really important to me. But i had forget about them. Sorry guys.

    13th's :
    Kaiqian, AhXiang, AhB, AhDer, Loyloy, Jacky, AhFat.
    Sisters :
    Violet, Jolyn, Rachelle, Veron.
    Brothers :
    Nick, Andre, ChenHui, ZhanRong.
    Others :
    Qing, AhPui, Ashiq, AhQiang, Jerry, Ahboy, Sky, Johneh.
    -
    Those others whose names arent here. Sorry. Only could think of this few for now.

    Maybe its really time to move along eventhough i know, i wont give up. I wont lose hope. That i'd continue keep waiting for a miracle to happen. But i guess its just not the right thing to do. I'd say that i give up already. But is that what i really want? Nevermind its okay. Shall just live through this for now. Dont know how long i can hold up to. But i will try my very best. But i cant promise anything. Its just to hard, too difficult to life on. Wish i can burn down my whole room and throw every memories i have inside me. Thinking if i ever regretted. Picking it back up even when i've already dropped it down. Regretted believing in Love once again. Regretted everything that i try to change just for you. Regretted all this that happened. Feel like throwing away everything. Sigh. You said, love me too. & Rather be behind looking after me. That if our love for each other could last. What should i worry about? You tell me, what shouldnt i be worrying about? Now you really found one new one. What about the Love you said there was? Regretted trusting what you said.



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